Reverend Christie Bature has advised young women to prioritise self-discovery and purpose before getting married, warning that entering marriage too early can become difficult when individuals are still trying to understand who they are.
Speaking on a recent episode of The Fearless Woman Podcast, the minister said she does not get overly excited when young women tell her they have found someone to marry because many have not taken enough time to discover themselves.
While stressing that she supports dating and building healthy relationships, Bature said maturity and self-awareness are essential before making the lifelong commitment of marriage.
“The human brain is not fully developed till 26. Some of the stupid decisions our children take, it’s not because they want to be stupid. It’s that the brain is not fully developed,” she said.
According to the cleric, many women who marry in their late teens or early twenties are still evolving and may later realise that the person they married no longer aligns with who they have become.
“A girl is married at 18, 19, 20. They don’t even know who they are. And as they are growing, they are growing into themselves,” she said.
Reflecting on her personal experience, Bature said she witnessed many women abandon their dreams and sense of purpose after marriage. The experience, she said, prompted her to pray for a spouse who would recognise her calling and support her growth.
She added that she eventually stopped focusing on finding a husband and instead devoted herself to pursuing what she believed was God’s purpose for her life.
Bature urged women not to place their ambitions on hold while waiting for marriage.
“Get into the business of who God called you to be before you marry. Don’t dim your shine on your way, saying, ‘Oh, when I marry.’ What is he meeting you doing?” she said.
She maintained that marriage should complement a person’s purpose and personal growth rather than become the reason they lose their identity.
